Chronic Complainers: What Does and Doesn't Work to Stop Them What to Do When People Don't Like You Customer & Patient Complaints: When It's One Person's Word Against Another's Oreo Cookie Psych Test
Apr 01, 2008
Solutions


Chronic Complainers:
What Does and Doesn't Work to Stop Them


Chronic complainers: practically every healthcare office seems to have at least one. A chronic complainer is someone who comes to work every day and always finds something to complain about. Chronic complainers are a major problem at the workplace, as they tend to make the people around them unhappy. Moreover, such a negative attitude is highly contagious and one chronic complainer can easily bring an entire department down.

Dealing with chronic complainers is very tricky. You may try several strategies, only to discover that you've irritated the offender to complain even more. These tactics may include the following:

Strategies that Usually DON'T Work:

Trying to cheer them up. You may try to cheer a complainer up by saying things like, "oh, it can't be that bad, look at the bright side of things." However, saying things like this shows the complainer that you're not taking their pain seriously. When you tell complainers "it's not that bad," they will often complain even harder to convince you (and themselves) that their problems are very serious indeed.

Telling them what to do. Saying something like, "why don't you..." or "have you tried..." or even worse, "you really should have..." may infuriate the complainer. The complainer most likely views their problems as serious and won't believe that they can be solved by a few suggestions from you. The more you try to suggest solutions, the harder they will work to convince you and themselves that these solutions could never possibly work for them. Bottom line: If the complainer doesn't ask for advice or help, it's usually best not to offer it.

Telling them to get it together. Complainers can bring you down and are downright annoying at times. However, telling them that their problems are trivial and that they just need to pull themselves together probably isn't going to work.

Complaining along with them. It's extremely easy to get caught in this trap. Why? Because complaining is easy. Would people complain if it took a lot of effort? Probably not. If people agree and join in with complainers, the complainers won't feel compelled to address or solve their problems.

So what does work? Here's a simple but very effective strategy:

A Strategy that DOES Work:

When dealing with chronic complainers, an effective strategy often goes like this, "You know, that sounds terrible. I don't know how you deal with all of these problems." This approach works because it gives the complainer what they're really after: empathy. You're not trying to cheer them up, you're not telling them what to do, and you're not going along with them. You're simply offering your understanding of what is, for that person, a difficult situation.

There is one critical item to keep in mind when using this approach: Don't be sarcastic. Be sincere. You don't have to agree that these are huge problems. Even if everything the complainer says sounds trivial to you, remember that it probably feels like a huge problem to him or her. So you're not saying, "Yes, I agree that's a huge problem". And you're certainly not saying "Oh, poor poor you" in a sarcastic voice. You're just acknowledging the fact that this is a huge problem for that person.

Does this make the complaining go entirely away? Only sometimes. But it keeps you from being part of a vicious cycle of responses that just makes the complainers complain even more and more. So the next time you hear incessant nagging, try this approach on your favorite complainer!

"Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival."
-Rene Dubos



What to Do When People Don't Like You

If you're a leader or maintain a leadership role, there's a good chance that some people won't like you. Why? As a leader, you are challenging peoples' comfort zones, encouraging change, and expecting improvement. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you did or how you did it, when you expect more than the status quo, some people get rattled. Most of the time, it isn't about you at all; it's about the role you represent.

However, when people take issues with you-whether it's on a personal or professional level-it can negatively affect the workplace. If this is the case, you need to address the problem straight-on by talking to the person/people involved. It's not easy, but chances are that the person isn't going to change his/her mind or attitude on his/her own. Below are three steps you need to take when dealing with people who don't like you, or your approach to work.

Step 1: Discover the root cause. Talk to the person to discover the root cause. Tell them that you know or can sense that there is an issue. If a person is open and says that they have a problem with you, your style or something else personal, explore those briefly. Remember that the root cause can also involve a person's prejudgments and distrust of people in leadership roles. At other times, it may just be a simple misunderstanding about something that can be resolved, which will both lessen the tension and improve the relationship all at once.

Step # 2: Address as appropriate. If the relationship issues can be resolved or a plan can be put in place to work on them, great! Remember, though, that this conversation is about reducing or resolving issues that are negative at the workplace. It's not about establishing or fixing a friendship.

Step # 3: Remind yourself and others that it's not personal. Work with the person or group to segregate how they feel about your personally. Remind them that it's ok if they're not great friends with you. We are all adults, and should be able to act cordially and professionally, regardless of how we feel about others on a personal level. This is the first step towards improving a working relationship, and perhaps even eliminating the "I don't like you" feeling. Through a humble and open dialogue, you can hopefully build the trust that ultimately builds a stronger and more productive professional relationship.

Remember, that your role isn't to please everyone or have everyone like you. But as a leader, if you want to promote change and progress, recognizing when people have issues with you and then working past it is critical to everyone's success.

"The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority."
-Kenneth Blanchard



Customer & Patient Complaints:
When It's One Person's Word Against Another's

Customer and patient complaints are an unfortunate reality of healthcare. In some cases, patients may have every reason to complain, and it's great when they do, as you are made aware of the problem, and are better equipped to identify and resolve the problem. Of course, there are several other instances that aren't as black and white. Sometimes a patient or customer may exaggerate or lie all together. At other times, a patient and a staff member may have completely different accounts of a situation, and it simply becomes a matter of one person's word against another.

Many administrators and nurse executives have had to face this not so unusual occurrence-and it's not an easy thing to deal with. Your employees are valuable, and not taking their word can cause several problems. At the same time, patients and customers are equally as important, and you can't ignore their concerns or complaints. Indeed, trying to do the right thing in the midst of so little evidence can be daunting.

The following steps can help improve the odds of a positive outcome:

Acknowledge the problem. You need to address the concern/problem immediately. Addressing the problem can be as simple as notifying the patient and all concerned parties that you are aware of the situation and are taking steps to resolve it. Keep both the employee and patient/customer informed of the problem-solving process.

Begin investigating immediately. The sooner you can begin to gather facts, the better the chance of a just outcome. The longer you wait to ask the patient/customer/resident and staff member about the particular issue, the more likely they're going to forget details. Initiate documentation that includes key pieces of information, such as: details of activity that was occurring at the time of the alleged incident the names and statements of staff members working on the unit at the time specifics about the resident/patient citing the problem statements or interviews from the resident/patient/customer and the alleged violator.

Take the past into account. Review past and current performance of the employee, including any disciplinary actions the person has received. Investigate any prior similar circumstances in which either the employee or the patient/customer may have been involved. Determine if a situation exists that might cause the patient to convey misinformation about the alleged employee, such as a personal dispute, severed friendship, or racial or ethnic biases. This step will help you in the difficult decision-making process of determining a reasonable and justifiable outcome.

Take corrective action, if needed. If at the completion of your investigation, the patient/customer/resident of the complaint is found to be credible, you must take corrective action. Corrective actions may include termination or, depending on the circumstances, retaining the employee with a specific plan of action, including consistent oversight.

You obviously never want to tell a patient that he/she is wrong or accuse them of lying, if at the completion of the investigation, the patient is found not to be credible. However, you can tell them that you have taken their compliant very seriously, and apologize for any inconveniences that they might have experienced. You always want to acknowledge complaints, and make patients feel valued. However, if there is no merit behind what they're saying, it's important to protect and keep your employees happy. It's a tight and difficult rope to walk, but if you gather the evidence and act quickly and objectively, you should be able to resolve the issue and appease all involved parties.

"Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said."-Mark Twain


Oreo Cookie Psych Test

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities.

Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreo's:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreos.

Put your answer down NOW, then check below:

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing: This means you consume life with abandon. You are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness.

2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion
other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's ok, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and methodical. You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do
to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others.

4. Feverous nibbles. Your boss likes you because you get your work
done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them.

5. Dunked. Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You
like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations
into good ones.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie. You have a highly
curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out
how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so
you destroy all the evidence of your activities.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie. You are good
at business and take risks that pay off. You take what you want and throwthe rest away.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside. You enjoy pain.

9. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies. You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear.
There's just no pleasing you!

 
  
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